... TYPICAL IDENTITIES !

You Are an Indian if ...

1. Everything you eat is savoured in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and re-use gift-wrapped, gift boxes and of course aluminum foil.

3. You are standing next to the two largest six suitcases at the airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the postal service missed to mark up.

6. You recycle wedding gifts.

7. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

8. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

9. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house wither it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or the new couch.

10. You buy and display crockery, which is for special occasions, which never occur.

11. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.

12. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

13. You can only travel if there are at least 5 persons to see you off (or receive you) whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

14. You only make long distance calls after 9 pm (when rates become half).

15. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

16. You treat the NRIs (especially from America) as if they are the only persons living in this world (including You.)

17. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

21. Tries to use Credit Card in road side Hotel.

20. Drinks and carries Mineral Water and always speaks of Health. (proving to be very health conscious).

19. Sprays DEO such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi". Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi". Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit". Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "Got To Go" instead of "Have To Go". Says "Oh" instead of "Zero",
(for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions.(Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 49 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed),repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee (but never says Zed).

11.Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY & on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel / Dhaba food.

Few more important stuffs
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

And The Ultimate One
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."