|
CORPORATE
LESSON # 1
A
junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their
way to A meeting. On their way through a park, they come across
a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost
says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are
three, I will allow one wish each"
So
the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want
to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff,
and he was gone.
Now
the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want
to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.
"Pfufffff, and he was also gone.
The
boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office
after lunch ".
|
MORAL
OF THE STORY:
Always
allow the bosses to speak first
|
CORPORATE
LESSON # 2
A
priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road,
he Stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted.
She got in and Crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and
reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an
accident.
After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember
psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.
He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable
to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing
gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again
said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologised.
"Sorry sister, but the mind is weak." Arriving at the convent,
the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her
way.
On
his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible
and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek; further
up, you will find glory."
|
MORAL
OF THE STORY:
Always
be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!
|
CORPORATE
LESSON # 3
There
were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French,
who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle,
a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out
of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools,
I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool
and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become,
then your wish will come true."
The
French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and
shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.
The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next
is the Russian's turn, he Did the same and shouted, "VODKA"
and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The
German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He
was so contented with His beer pool.
The
last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly
he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
"SHIT!!!!!!!........."
|
MORAL
OF THE STORY:
Mind
your language, you never know what it will Land you in.
|
CORPORATE
LESSON #4
A
man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing
up her shower & the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing
over who should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,
quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When
she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
Before
she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $ 800 just to drop
that towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the
woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob
has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and
quietly leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune,
the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs.
When
she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower
"Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $!
800 he owes me?"
|
MORAL
OF THE STORY:
Share
critical credit information with your stakeholders
to
prevent avoidable exposure!
|
CORPORATE
LESSON #5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung
on it.
As
the frozen bird lay there miserably in the pile of cow dung,
it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing
him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to
sing for joy.
A
passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
|
MORAL
OF THE STORY:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2)
Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3)
And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
|
CORPORATE
LESSON #6
A
turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't
got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The
turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The
next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched
at the top of the tree.
Soon
he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out
of the tree.
|
MORAL
OF THE STORY:
Bullshit
might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
|
CORPORATE
LESSON #7
A
crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
|
MORAL
OF THE STORY:
To
be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,
very
high up.
|
CORPORATE
LESSON #8
Usually
the shop-floor staff of the company play football.
The
middle-level managers are more interested in tennis.
The
top management usually has a preference for golf.
|
FINDING:
As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.
|
|
Copyright:
2005@
ShekharGurera.com
Contents
of this page are from the forwarded mails of our friends, unaware
of their original creator, which are © and courtesy
of
their respective creator. All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction
prohibited.
|